The last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling…..well, I can only call it odd or maybe contrary. On the one hand there’s something that feels like boredom, although it’s not as if I have nothing to do. It’s more a feeling of being bored with plodding along doing the same old things, yet there is so much happening on a spiritual level, that I wonder why I feel this way. Perhaps it’s because although I get these brilliant ‘eureka’ moments, after I’ve worked through them and put the new pieces of the puzzle where they belong in the bigger picture, pretty soon everything just seems to go back to normal – or maybe I just integrate them quicker now than I did before.
My life is very peaceful and I’m very grateful for that and feel very fortunate, but I still feel out of sorts somehow. Having had a life that was full of ups and downs until a few years ago, and having consciously worked hard to get out of that whole cycle to get where I am now, I really ought to feel pleased and satisfied that I’ve finally got here, and I do, but I’ve always thrived on challenges, as they make me dig a little deeper for my inner resources, yet having achieved what I set out to do, everything now seems too easy somehow. I’m still looking for the next challenge, but there isn’t one.
I suppose it has a lot to do with not being able to see my path in front of me, and feeling that I’m walking it blindfolded, like so many of us do. I’m looking forward to starting my spiritual development groups again soon, because I always find that although I’m teaching others, I’m the one learning the most. The thing is that I feel so content, I really can’t think of anything else to wish for – apart from those wishes associated with the New Earth of course. I can’t wait to see the whole of humanity living in Unity, Peace and Love, being at One with ALL, and I won’t stop working towards it until it happens. It’s not something I can set as a personal challenge however as it’s something we can only do together.
I’m also finding it easy to live in the NOW. I never worry about tomorrow or the future in general. In truth, there is so much peace in my life now that I don’t really know what to do with it. I feel as if there’s a void that I don’t really know how to fill, or what I want to fill it with. However, as so often happens, when we‘re looking for answers they usually appear. Yesterday I read a wonderful article that really resonated with me and explains that this void, or feeling of ‘emptiness’ is actually a sign of feeling the true frequency of the soul and of leaving the old self behind. Sananda calls it the doorway to great satisfaction – it is the waiting stage, like being in the womb before being (re)born. It is a reconnecting with your true essence before being reborn to your true Self. http://dreamweaver333.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/ute-posegga-rudel-22/
